Glacier

A friend announced that he was going to run the St. George Marathon...and he did. Well, I thought, I like St. George, I want to run a marathon. So I registered, joined a club, bought some cool gear and started running.

My first timed race: The Trent / Waldron Glacier 1/2 Marathon took place on a cold, drizzly Saturday in May. My guy and I showed up fresh, excited and ready to go, having just fueled up with a dry wholewheat bagel and pack of GU. After a quick 20 min. wait for the port-o-pee, I'm ready to roll..the man with the megaphone calls for all runners to line up.. Well that's me I think to myself..better get in front, don't want anyone slowing me down. The semi-official looking guy at the starting line yells go, and we're off.

By mile 1 I'm not feeling so great. miles 2 & 3 show no improvment. Around mile 3.1 my new running coach blazes by going the opposite direction. Poor guy I think to myself, must have gotten turned around somewhere. by mile 3.5 groups of runners are speeding past in the opposite direction. Soon I realize the course makes a loop at mile 4, all the racers flying by have made the loop and are starting back. it's then that it hits me! I'm slow.. not just kinda slow...really slow..in fact.. I dear-say I'm one of the slowest runners out here...Which would be tolerable if my body didn't hurt so bad. I think to myself how can it hurt this much when I'm going so slow..how is everyone else going so fast? What am I doing wrong? Maybe it's these shoes, I probably need some Gatorade, or performance enhancing drugs. The obvious solution of slowing down is no option at all.. I can't slow down and still be running.. and I'm a runner now.. that's what all the expensive gear is about.. running..I wouldn't have joined a club to be a walker...I don't need the skills of a highly trained professional to walk... I press on..

Miles 5-7 confirm my fear.. I have not passed anyone still coming up the trail. I really am one of the slowest,,, I seriously may be in last place... How can this be?? What about the rule "there is always someone slower than you"? where are the slow people? Who forgot to call the slow people?

Mile 8-I'm back to the start line / finish line..and while many runners are celebrating I am not celebrating. Oh no, I must continue down the trail, another grueling 2.5miles where upon a single orange cone indicates that I may turn around and backtrack the 2.5 to end up where I was now standing. Who's idea....at this point I determined that 8 miles is my absolute limit...I am no longer fresh and excited. I am no longer interested in a marathon.. I do not like running, I do not like St. George, I do not even like being outside. I just want to stop!!

I continue on....At mile 12.50 my guy calls out in a cheery voice: "hey let's speed up for the finish".. WHAT?! I do not like my guy.. I can't speed up...If I could talk I would tell him this but as it is...I can't talk, I can't think...I can't breathe.. all I can do is hurt....my body is: sweating, pounding, burning, aching, throbbing, my head is spinning...I feel delirious..Something is definitely wrong with me... I think I have a congenital heart defect..Further along.. yes, I most definitely have a serious cardiovascular problem.

I speed up moving from a slow jog to a brisk jog and there it is... the small modest white-tape finish line... there is an end to this misery!...now I'm really running... here it comes.. closer... my feet start to really fly...closer... My arms are pumping, I'm up on my toes... closer....I'm leaning forward holding my breath....closer...My heart is going to burst....closer...I'm definitely going to faint....auuugh....and I'm over!

Wow! That wasn't so bad...that was kind of fun....that was AWESOME!! did you see how fast I was going at the end??...I bet I could have gone faster...what was my time? Oh I'm so sure I'm much faster then that. I really could have pushed myself harder..just wait 'till you see me next year, I can't wait!.