Mayor's

This picture showed up in my inbox this morning. It is the official registration request from the organizers of the Mayor's Marathon. I ran the 1/2 marathon last year therefore qualify to register early.

I got nauseated just looking at the picture.

Mayor's was the absolute worst experience of my short racing career. I became violently ill at mile 8. Unfortunately, mile 8 is located in the middle of the coastal trail. There is no where to go but forward.

I lack the appropriate adjectives to describe the final 5 miles.

I'm torn between registereing just to "show 'em what I really got", and leaving town that weekend.

Nutrional Recommendations tip #2

One of the great pitfalls of a healthy diet is also The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. Studies show that the average American gains 5 pounds between November and January. I found it interesting yet not surprising that Alaskans average 10.

Listed are a few tricks to avoid a New Year's Crash diet:

*Wear fitted cloths, the lack of space will decrease consumption.
*Drink a big glass of Metamucil before Parties, Fiber Fills.
*Carry a water bottle and refill at least three times daily.
*Quickly dispense the goody plates to the kids and send the rest to the office.
*Only make enough to give away.
*Eat a relatively healthy item every couple hours. Try not to go hungry.
*Read Labels and AVOID Ridiculous foods.


One example of a ridiculous food, is my favorite Holiday Beverage, Eggnog.



Ridiculous because I find it so desirable I can't help myself. Yet it is so loaded with fat and calories it should carry a warning label-Each serving contains 200 calories and a whopping 10 grams of fat.

This may seem reasonable for such a creamy- rich treat. The trick is the serving size, a mere 1/2 cup. That's right, 4 little oz, 1/3 a can of soda.



As the average drinking glass is 12 oz. A full glass packs a an unbelievable 30 grams of fat and 600 calories.....I kept track at the gym today, I would have to survive a 90 minute Spin class to burn 600 calories. And that my friends is highly unlikely.



So, Just remember, Next time you crave a Nog, You would be better off opting for liquid butter instead...

What we have here is failure to communicate.

I like to believe that I am accomplished in the fine art of conversation. I think I understand the rules, or at least the basic no-no's. However after multiple misunderstandings lately, I'm re-evaluating my original position.

Like the rest of the country, I have been observing, (o.k) obsessing over the presidential campaigns. In the news Sarah Palin has been blasted by her critics for "no longer being genuine". Apparently, she is too polished, too rehearsed, too scripted. Some argue that her initial allure was her fresh, open, spontaneous personality.

On the other hand Michelle Obama has been criticized multiple times for saying what was on her mind with no heed to political correctness, or weighing the consequences of her words. In other words, being too spontaneous and open.

When two women spending millions of dollars attempting to create the most alluring persona have trouble, it goes to show the difficult balance between spontaneous and polished, open and discriminating, consistent and dynamic.

So, instead of an in-depth study to find out what is too open, too honest, or too spontaneous, I have concluded that misunderstanding will come. I just hope to understand myself. Cause if I understand, I'm o.k with the rest of you in the dark...Understand?

The Great Debate

My gal transitioned into Kindergarten with ease. Day one she walked right in and sat right down. Day two she stepped into the bus without a backward glance. Day three she turned down the offer to sit with mom and sisters in the lunchroom, opting instead to stay with new friends. Day four she couldn't stop talking about the rock wall in the Gym and her Art class. Day five mom took a deep breath and exhaled a big sigh of relief. Obviously Oldest child is prepared and well adjusted, now onto girl number two.

By Monday of week three, I'm feeling confident, almost smug about my amazing mothering abilities, when suddenly lightening strikes! It began on our relaxing walk home from the bus-stop, the first "accident". We haven't seen this problem for a few months, must be too much fun at school for potty breaks. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday continue the downward spiral as the daily accidents at home continue.

By Friday the problem is occurring at school as well. On Saturday, the situation has escalated to include an accident at a new schoolmates birthday party, in a friends car on the way home from the birthday party, and at home while playing puzzles after the birthday party. By this time, poop is now involved. On top of the vexing waste elimination problem my well adjusted darling is now literally chewing her fingertips off.

Now, I'm obviously not a child development expert, but I have a suspicion that all is not well. While I would like to report that I handled the past week with poise, skill, and grace, an accurate description would include: impatience, anger, and hostility. Adding fuel to the blaze I'm sure.

What do these recent developments signify? Is she going through a normal transition, or expressing deep mental troubles? Is she being manipulative and controlling, or crying for help? Is it me, am I the problem? Maybe I'm too controlling, or too neglectful? Is it my tone of voice, my word selection, or body language? I could be blowing it out of proportion. On the other hand I may not be taking it serious enough?

What is a proper course of action? Do I address the issue promptly, or let it pass? Do I talk about it, ignore it, set consequences, or initiate yet another reward system?

While my influence over the situation is debatable, one thing is assured, Motherhood remains one of the great mysteries.

23 days to go.

I'm beginning to question my judgment....A marathon? Seriously, what was I thinking? Our scheduled long run last Saturday was suppose to be 23 miles. As we started running later then planned, by mile 17 it was already 10.38 pm. In true Alaskan form, the night was drizzly, dark, and cold. We were both so wet that my iPod blew-up at mile 9. It looked like it had been dropped in a puddle. We decided that rather then suffer the consequences of babysitters home past cufew, 17 miles would have to do.

As we drove away, I was disappointed and a little scared. I felt like crap. By Sunday morning the entire left side of my body was practically immobile. By Tuesday the source localized in my knee. The same knee I have been babying for 4 months and that is when I knew I was in trouble. I spent Wednesday limping around feeling miserable. I swear I can feel my cardiovascular tissue atrophy.

Life can be totally unexpected and unpredictable. In a single misplaced step all that we focus on, spend countless hours working towards and dedicate so much energy to can be wiped away.

Is someone trying to tell me I should be doing something else with my time?

I missed the bus.

How is it possible that my child can miss the bus with such elaborate preparations made in advance? The school cloths are selected and neatly laid out the night before. Her lunch is prepared complete with five food groups and crust-less sandwich. By 8:00am breakfast is on the table. Her shoes and backpack are waiting by the door.

At 8:35 the breakfast dishes are done, counters are clean, and hair is styled. I walk out the door congratulating myself for making the 8:41 pick-up.

Unfortunately, my children are not as interested in schedules. They are not impressed by my punctuality. They are much too busy throwing uneaten oatmeal at the house to be bothered by such trivial matters as time.

After what seems like an eternity of pleading, threatening, and literally forcing, I end up chasing the bus all the way to the school. It's just about the time I pull into the overcrowded parking lot that I look down and notice my lack of footwear. As my kindergartner must be walked directly to her classroom my shoeless situation poses a serious problem.

I'm beginning to realize that for me, humility is cultivated through embarrassing and painful life experiences. I have new found respect and admiration for all the veteran moms who survive the war against time, every morning, five days a week for nine long months.

Self Control

I regularly exercise complete Self-Control. My-SELF wants to be in Control. Unfortunately my daughters all display a similar disposition. The results are often unpleasant. Truth be told the more Control I exert, the more out-of-control the results. I know that clinically speaking the need for control stems from a place of fear, shame, or incompetence and is destructive in nature. The solution is a paradox, one must let go of control to gain control.

The incompetence part I understand but what of the fear. Am I afraid my children will become social despots if I loosen up?

Maybe tomorrow I will let Kira pick her own school clothes..???
I guess I could simply pin a note to her back explaining my social experiment to deter any questions to my wardrobe prowess.

Bread

Trachelle, A fabulous person I have the honor of calling friend recently instructed me in the art of bread making. The results were delicious. Later as I tried to reproduce her lovely product, I quickly realized that for me the process of bread making is a skill that takes a lot of practice, patience, and failures to master.

Later as I evaluated my unexpected bread making results, I couldn't help recognize the metaphor for motherhood. Like my bread, I have similar expectations for my children. I once believed incorrectly that if I used the same recipe, ingredients, & techniques my results would be predictably perfect. I have come to realize that children like bread need to be gently kneaded, they need warmth to rise, their course, rough surface need to be smoothed. They become misshapen when forced into a mold. And regardless of the consistency, no two turn out the same.

The lesson learned, parenting takes a lot of practice, patience, and failures to master and still the results might be quit unexpected.

Battle of the Sexes

Can I just make a note of the great injustice inflicted upon my gender. I completed my longest run to date on Saturday, 20 miles! I was feeling pretty good about it, after all, I'm still walking. Later that evening as I broke it down mile by mile to Bob, he mentions that he "added a few more miles" to his run... oh yea I reply? How far did you go? Oh, 26.2...he humbly replies. What???

You mean the full distance?? Oh and did I mention he ran it faster then we have ever run before? Oh, and did I also mention that I run 2 more days a week then he does.. and may I also add that I have been training for 9 years longer.

The truth has been revealed, all this time I imagined myself to be the pacesetter. Come to find out the only reason I keep up is Bob's determination to stay with me. Another swift blow to the ego.. but alas...I will forge on. There's got to be something I'm better at?

Sadie'sPotty

For those of you that associate with me on a regular basis you know all about the potty problems at our home (the girls, not mine). In my three years Potty Training experience I have yet to stumble upon a solution to the vexing problem of waste disposal. for any new to my world, I pledge to humbly accept any advice, but I must warn you, I have tried it ALL, except medication which is currently under consideration (for me not the girls).

Recently I gifted a lovely blue, portable potty chair to our dear Sadie in the hopes of alleviating any fear associated with the Big white Porcelain giant. It has become a trusted friend. She carries it around with her frequently, and takes great delight in entertaining guest by pulling up the lid and plopping down. Lately it has become apparent that she hopes to keep it fresh and clean as she regularly waits until the lid is closed for the main event.

H2Oasis

I've never been the controlling type when it comes to my kids and supervision. I prefer they learn independence early. While some may disagree with this free spirited philosophy, I secretly pride myself that I'm no "worry wart".

I recently experienced a sobering example of the difficulties associated with such supervision practices. A friend and I decided to take our kids to H2Oasis (all six of them) - mistake #1. As we lounged on the deck chairs, Brielle who is in the water takes a shaky step and face plants . Of course as she is wearing a life jacket, I assume she is perfectly safe - mistake #2. Little did I realize that my flailing 1 year old could exerts enough force to prevent the head piece of the floatation device from flipping her to a safe back position. Lucky for me a nice stranger grabbed her before CPR became necessary.

In my attempt to make it up to her, and prove myself a good parent, I lift her to the top of a water slid. Brielle LOVES slides. Quickly I turned around to position myself at the bottom for a safe catch- mistake #3. Brielle steps backwards, falls down the concrete stairs, and once again lands face-down in the water. At this point a witness to the near fatal drownings asks me if I would like medial intervention.

Lucky for me everyone survived and I learned an important lesson in parenting. We now employ the triple floaty method of safety when entering water.
Bring On the Warts.